Today was the day that our rank lists were due. I had arrived at a list I was fairly confident in about a week ago. Yesterday I started having doubts but, after gazing at it, I made only minor changes and went to bed happy.
This morning I had more doubts. Basically I have been deciding between two specialties. One that is more narrow and I have less experience in. The experience I did have was some of my favorite parts of clerkship but it is hard to know how representative those three weeks were. The other is more broad and I have done enough time to know that I would be happy there.
Then there is location. All the programs I interviewed at are reasonable so it comes down to where we want to live.
The deadline is passed and now I just have to wait and live with the result. I know that I would be happy in any of the programs and either specialty. So why I am stressed now? I have always been happy with the gut decisions I have made in the past and I have no reason to think this will be different. I think what is bothering me is the uncertainty. Once it is over, whatever the result is, I will be happier. Just a week and a half before this theory is tested.