Hi from the Peanut


As almost everyone who reads this blog probably already knows, I am expecting my first child in just over 4 months. My husband and I are thrilled and excited but, like most first time parents-to-be I suppose, we are also freaked out, worried and afraid.


I am on my psych rotation presently. This week is my week to be at the kid's hospital for the children and adolescent psych portion of my rotation. There is nothing like hanging out at the kid's hospital to make you acutely aware of how vulnerable children are to all the chemicals, germs, accidents and whims of fate or genes. There just seems to be too many things out there to protect my little peanut from. And plenty that I don't even have a chance against.

I have tried to be a good mother to my parasite so far but, as evidenced by my posting at nearly midnight on a weekday, I haven't been perfect. I feel guilty every time I have pop instead of water or give in to my desire for a bath instead of a shower. I know feeling guilty isn't particularly helpful and I know no parent is perfect. But I also know that, even if I am perfect, there are all sorts of horrible things that could befall my peanut. So isn't my responsibility to make sure he/she has the best chance possible?

My next rotation is pediatrics; three weeks of neurology and then three weeks of general inpatient. I have already warned my husband that there might be a lot of tears coming up.